Friday, October 11, 2013

It's Official: Part II

Hi there everyone! October 11th. Wow, I cannot believe it's officially been two years since I broke up with that good for nothing sonuvagun! Last year I wrote this article about how I've gotten over him and how I've moved on and found myself. Well this time, I'll be relaying what has happened so far since that post. One year has passed and I'm still single!  I don't know whether I should cry or laugh at this statement. Sometimes I try to speculate on what is wrong with me? Why haven't I gotten a boyfriend yet? I mean, for God's sake I'm gonna be 23 very soon and here I am, an aging moke who's void of commitment. Okay, fine, perhaps I would be lying if I said I've never gotten any courtship offers from guys. In fact, I have been asked to be somebody's boyfriend several times but because of my impossibly high standards (read this to find out more on my ludicrous standards) I end up rejecting them. 

Rebounds have never crossed my mind at all in this one year because I think that's the most terrible thing anyone can do to someone. I mean, playing with someone's feelings and stringing them along just to satisfy your selfish need for closure/revenge? That's just mean and frankly, cruel. The word "settling" has often disturbingly crossed my mind and there was a time when I nearly settled for someone. This happened a few months ago when I was on a night out and this guy peaked my interest. We exchanged numbers and basically saw each other and hung out whenever we had the chance. Throughout our close friendship I noticed several signs that told me he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. I started to panic and completely changed my behavior towards him (No, I didn't kick him to the curb or bust the windows out his car) by being more distant and withdrawn. That didn't seem to quell his pursuit of me and when he finally asked me I told him I'd think about it. I spent a whole week avoiding his calls and ignoring him until I finally decided that I wouldn't find anything better and that I would have to settle for him. But when I met up with him I mentally changed my decision on the spot and decided NOT to settle because I valued myself too much and valued him too much to expose him to future heartaches that would be instigated by me.

Another reason why I haven't made an effort to date anyone is because I am not ready to trust a man yet. The most probable reason for this would be my experience with that ex of mine. The fact that I've been watching too much Lifetime movies about abused women in relationships who end up getting killed by their overly jealous boyfriends doesn't help. Neither does listening to Adele and Frank Ocean's songs (I'm still sure they've both been hurt by the same man). I feel like if i did get into a relationship, the guy would just eventually get bored of me and move on to someone better and then I'd be all unhappy again. In this respect, I've learned to love myself and being single because the key to learning to love someone is to love yourself first. That is something I'm doing right now, focusing on myself before actually jumping into a relationship. 

Updates on my ex, I heard he is married to this Austrian girl. I can't help but think that was way too fast! I mean it hurts to think that he got over me fast enough to get married already. Anyway, I wish him all the best in life and hope he found what was void in me in someone else. No hard feelings anymore. Another valuable lesson I've learned from this dating experience is that breaking up, being dumped or being betrayed by someone shouldn't affect you so much. Heck, if I spent the whole year thinking about every single thing he is doing, I would never be over him. Having a personal intervention is important too. This is where you seek sanctity in yourself by engaging in self-loving activities. Finding yourself and realizing that nobody in this world can dictate your value/self-worth will contribute to the betterment of your self esteem. Like I mentioned before, stop thinking of what could've been and whether the reason why he left you was because you did something wrong... Another thing you could do is to make use of your singlehood and ENJOY IT! And remember, take this single time to actually be all about YOU and not YOU and HIM. Don't worry, be happy. :) And also remember that: