Tuesday, October 20, 2015

When People Push You to The Limit aka I HATE My Job Part II

Limits. Hm... that's a very restrictive word isn't it? It's something that restraints oneself not to extend beyond that. And that's precisely why it was created- to remind the fools of the world that there are certain boundaries that a man cannot overstep nor can he go against, else that would turn on the vapid beast within the other. There are many instances that can lead to the release of the vapid beast but pushing someone to the limit is definitely one of them.

Hence, the motivation for my post today; I was pushed to my limit by none other than my own boss. Before I venture further into how this came to be, I would like to shine a light on my work relationship between my boss (let's call him *Cameron) and I. Now Cameron and I have been working for more than a year now (circa 2014) and we have worked very well together up until very recently when Cameron confessed his love for me or rather his need to have a more in-depth relationship rather than a work relationship with him... which I flat out said NO to because a) I'm not some cheap slut who sleeps around with her boss to progress further in her career, b) I'm fully committed to, respect and love the man that I am with right now and c) I'm not stupid. 

Looking at how things are between us right now i.e. not talking to each other unless we have to, Cameron doesn't seem to take this well at all. He's basically acting out like a five year old kid who was denied the pleasure of going to the park to play. He's begun to treat me rather unfairly and has also begun to show his.."true colors". In fact it has even come to the point whereby he is taking me off my current project and placing me into one of the worst projects in the office right now. I have argued, rebelled and even came so close to give in my one month's notice. And then I ended up making peace with it because my hormones are forcing me to go on a rampage and I was susceptible to making very poor decisions. Then today comes the clincher... he nonchalantly asks me to give away all my contacts for this current project to the person who will be replacing me. 

...Which...I am definitely against! Why the fuck would I hand over my effort and my money making sureties when I'm being pried off the project. Fucking no. And to think that I just came back from a meeting whereby his alternative was, you either give her your expectations or move to a different department. Which is fucked up and makes the blood boil under my skin. I cannot imagine what a two faced motherfucker he can be! I have done nothing but support him with every project we have done. I have helped make each and every project successful with my effort and this is how he repays me? Are you fucking kidding me? If there was ever a time when I wanted to quit this job, now would be the best time to do it. It's almost as if the universe is motivating me through environmental mishaps to Q.U.I.T this job. 

Now I am literally stuck with 3 choices:
  • Move to that horrible department with much lower pay and a tyrant for a boss, 
  • Give all my leads and expectations to the woman who will be taking my place, 
  • QUIT (once and for all)
Audience, you have all followed my tales of folly and occasional misfortune, help me decide. The last option is really tempting but alas, where would I go after this? Nonetheless send me your opinion of the matter in the comments box below and help me decide! 

Friday, October 9, 2015

Long Distance Relationship

Hello movers and shakers, ladies and gentlecreatures and welcome to OCTOBER! A new month warrants new experiences, posts and new laughs. So far... 2015 has been an amazing year for me. I met the love of my life, made some very good new friends and have somehow progressed job-wise. Nonetheless, the first half of 2015 breezed by freaking fast and then here we are, it'd October. I'm going to grab you by the balls and make you mine! Now one new experience for me this October will be experiencing for the first time in my life... A Long Distance Relationship (i.e. LDR). 

If someone came up to the old me 4 years ago and asked how I felt about a long distance relationship, I would honestly say defiantly and with the utmost confidence "Hello No!". But when faced by the same question at this moment I would say "Hell yeah!". Wanna know why? Because I have found my soulmate. I am in love with someone whom I want to make this work for. The fact of the matter is that long distance relationships scare me. A lot. I have this paranoia and fear that I would be seen as uninteresting, or he might have second thoughts there and leave me or even worse... we might drift apart. Well FUCK no. I won't let that happen at all. Nontheless, the fear still exists within me. 
So yesterday was the day I bid goodbye (not forever) to my boyfriend who had gone back to his native country of Germany upon completion of his 8 month internship here. It was the best and worst day of my life. Best because I got to spend the whole day with him by my side, worst because it was like watching half of me walk away. It was also very emotional at the airport with me bawling my eyes out (I even had to go into emergency not-the-right-moment-to-wear-pitch-black-shades moment) and I continued to cry when I left the airport and read the birthday card he wrote me. I also wrote him a super long letter detailing (not all but 50 percent) of how i felt towards him and our relationship which made him sentimental. He did have tears in his eyes when we said our goodbyes at the airport which me me feel like protecting him from the big bad world. 

And so as I write this post, I find myself in an LDR sitch. And this is only day 1 of about 70++ days until I see him again which will be a HUGE challenge. It will be so difficult but my love for him will make me strong enough to wait for him. And besides, luckily I live not in the Stone age but the age of technology and innovation which presents various opportunities to keep in touch with  each other aided by the internet. This is something we plan to fully utilize. Our everyday texting routine will continue and we will have weekly SKYPE sessions. Also, we plan to spice things up with... Skype movie dates, book reading days and various fun activities that will keep our love alive. 

Guys, LDRs aren't easy at all. In fact, they can be very hectic but it all depends on communication and commitment. I know it's only the first day and I don't know how It would be the coming days and weeks, But i believe that I can make something happen! I will make it work. We will make it work. 5 months in, eternity to go baby. I hope to post more regularly now as I have been neglecting my blog far too much. I'll make it a point to post one post per week. Hopefully that works out too.

To cap it all off, when you love someone you will always find a way to make it work. Oceans, seas or land won't be a barrier at all. 

Thursday, September 24, 2015

El Oh Vee Ee (Baby Don't Hurt Me)

No. Not a review about that one song that made Haddaway popular. Also not a a Hallmark epic about how I found the love of my life on a fine sunny day. Erm.. close. Hello future Hemmingways and Thatchers! Welcome to another long awaited but lazily postponed post detailing the misdemeanors and adventures that are almost non- existent in my life. Today's installment is about love. Or as I like to call it, El Oh Vee Ee. I know it has taken a while to fully understand but I finally get it. I get why artists are so adamant about expressing their undying love for their unknown interest. I get why people are weak in the knees when they're with the one they love. I get why epics were written about them. I also get why people kill for the ones they love.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am in love. Not with myself, but with an actual human being that has limbs, walks and talks and breathes. After the failed... 2 relationships that I've had before (Bosnian guy & German guy), I never thought I would ever let myself succumb to a man. After those two experiences, I never really bothered with men ever again because they were all evil in my eyes and I was better off alone. But now... things have changed. My faith in men has been restored. And the person responsible for this feeling that I literally can't explain is  Cody**. I explained how me and Cody came to be in this post. As you all know, I am not the most expressive person. I'm not your regular Sally Fulloflove or Linda Lovemore. But with this guy, I transform into those two and even more! 

He has positively influenced me and made me understand what love means. So in my interpretation, love is the feeling you have when that person's happiness automatically becomes yours. When that person's achievements make you proud. When that person can't be imperfect in your eyes and will always set the highest bar for everyone else. When you can't get enough of that person. When you still get butterflies even though you are comfortable with that person. When even the sun's warmth cannot match the intense warmth you feel when you think about or are near that person. Love is also much more than this. Everything is intensified.  Love also knows no color, just the beauty of the soul. The best part about love is when it's being reciprocated on the exact same level.

Look at me. If I compared myself to me 3 years ago, we would be two different people when it came to how we felt about love. Man, some people can either f**k love up for your forever or restore your faith in it. Cody was that guy who restored it for me. And the only thing I want right now and for the months, years and centuries to come is for Cody to be a part of them. 

In conclusion, I hope this post wasn't too modern Shakespearean for you and that this would give you something to think about in the coming future. If you'd like to share our thoughts on the topic of love, scroll to the absolute last part of this page and you will see a form filler. Fill in the details and the questions and I will do my absolute best to answer them and even feature them here.  Until then, to infinity and beyond!

 ** Names have been changed to protect the identity of the person and frankly it's none of your business knowing the real name

Sunday, September 13, 2015

A Job I Hate

Hello and tally ho everyone! Sorry for the long hiatus but I was seriously deciding between what to post first and every time I wanted to get to it, something came in the way! But now that I have all the time in the world I'll get straight to it. 

I hate my job. It sucks. It's terrible. I despise it. But why, O, why am I still in it, you ask? Because of the money. There I said it. It's because of the money. Plus, I'm in no position to choose the job of my dreams as I live in a country whereby I do not have the liberty to choose the job I want because not every company wants me (with my super duper cool qualifications too!). To be honest, If I wasn't in this job, I would not have any means of survival, I would not have the money to support myself. 

That's the thing. Sometimes in life we can't choose the life that we want or the job that we want. Sometimes you have to make do and struggle with what you have right now. My moral principle in life is to do something, but to do it well aka excel in it and failure is something that I can't handle. I just have to excel in this job too. Let's just say that the job is terrible. Honestly, what I do is something beyond my tolerance nor is it something beyond my interest.

The job I'm currently in involves selling. It can be craftily described in a variety of ways but at the end of the day, It's still selling. No matter how much sparkle you add to it or how much polish you glaze over it, it's still FUCKING SELLING. And I dislike it. So much. Sometimes I literally want to just walk out in the middle of operations and never come back again. If i could, I would. But I can't so I shan't. Basically several reason could contribute to the overall terribleness of this job. Number one would be the targets. The targets that need to be achieved monthly by the salespeople are quite unrealistic especially in the respective, relevant market.

Secondly, the projects that we are selling. I'll be very fair to say that we do seldom sell projects that end up selling very well... and then we sell projects that end up not making ANY sales. Why? Because a lack of proper research has been done.  Think about it. Why would anyone keep signing up for the same event organized annually if the content has barely changed over the years? Or why would they sign up for an event that contributes nothing to their overall professional development.

At the end of the day, this job is my only source of income and hence I will have to do it well in order to achieve results. Secondly, my job options are very limited. It's not like I'm being headhunted for jobs right now nor is my CV receiving any appraisals from employers. Nonetheless, with the support of my family and my friends and boyfriend, I won't give up. I will land that dream job working for Anna Wintour (or Andre Leon Talley... he's nicer). i will become someone someday. 

And so the conslusion is... I. Hate. My. Job. 

End of.

Sunday, June 14, 2015


Dear ladies and gents, whores and s'mores, bears and beavers and men and women, I am very happy to announce that after more than 5 years of being uniformly single... I am now multiple. Just kidding. But really the God of Bad Relationship Luck can remove their unkind curse on me because baby I'm in a relationship! I have found Him. H.I.M. He exists in the form of my wonderful boyfriend Cody**- who's German by the way. There, I said it. I have a boyfriend. Read this and weep stalkers!

As of right now, I am in a state of bliss. Things are going too well. I have an active relationship. A hot boyfriend and I'm just in a good place right now. Many of you are wondering how, when, where, how and (maybe) why this came to be. Well beautiful people, I shall bestow upon you the privilege of knowing how this came to be. It all started on this wee lil' dating app which will not be mentioned here.

So what happened was that we started text-ing each other to the point that we agreed to meet in person. To be honest I had my doubts about him at the beginning; he barely had any except for one photo of his (barely visible) face, his description was hilarious but a little suspect as well and I just wasn't comfortable or ready to meet him yet. So because I already had plans with my best friend R*, I just combined both our outings into one huge group outing. So at the end of the night, not only was he better acquainted with me but also with 6 other people.

The next night we also went out in a group and frequently started text-ing each other after that. Then came a point on Sunday when he asked me out on an exclusive date- exclusive as in just me and him- that coming Friday and let me tell you it was UH-May-ZING! It was by far one of the best dates I have ever been on in 2015 thus far. I literally couldn't control my smiles around him after that. I couldn't stop thinking about him after that either. And we both couldn't stop text-ing each other after that.

This feeling that I currently have towards him is just immense and amazing too. I honestly have never felt this way for anybody in my life- thus far. And the best part about this is that this feeling is being reciprocated-TENFOLD. And trust me guys, it's great to know that someone is out there who actually misses you and actually wants to be with you. Fantastic.

We've both agreed to take this to the next level... being Nutella mates. Just kidding! We've mutually agreed to do whatever we can to make this relationship last for long. This is unlike the others I've bee on. This is serious. So serious that I'm so scared that this might all be a dream which I will wake out of someday and only hope it would be real. Except it's not a dream. It's my reality.


Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Stupid Opinions

It's been a while. A very long while at that. And I have a great reason for my 4 and a half month hiatus from the blogosphere. And that will be explained in due time in the form of another post that will be shared detailing the current updates in my life (in love, health, work and education). 

Meanwhile I'd like to get your attention back to the topic at hand today- stupid opinions. We hear them everywhere. At home, on the way to work, on the way home, on the streets, on the phone, on social media (the breeding ground for stupid opinions) and even in the papers! The fact of the matter is, stupid opinions are everywhere. And they normally come from the mouths of stupid people. People without brains. People with brains lacking the thinking capacity to utilize this brain. People who just say what they want to say without looking at the facts. *Ahem* S-t-u-p-i-d P-e-o-p-l-e.

Now that I'm working in a professional environment, it became apparent to me that this might be the second breeding ground for stupid opinions. I cannot begin to fathom why this could be. I mean, this is at the end of the day a "professional" environment right? People should be immune to Stupid Opinionitis (A disease that warrants the sick person the inability to give out smart opinions) right? WRONG. It turns out the office place CAN be a  breeding ground for these unfeeling parasites. 

In fact this entire post comes courtesy of the office situation that happened today. Contrary to popular belief, the office is a happy, vibrant place with a somewhat cheerful environment. Today it was a bevy of hypocrisy. So there I was enjoying my day with a cheerful demeanor, brightening the lives of everyone around me when suddenly I'm called aside by my team leader. Oh? But what could it be about? He sat me down.

 "J, What do you think of your outfit today," he asked. I looked blankly at him and asked him to clarify. He clarified. Then it dawned on me that the outfit that I wore today (simple white camisole top, high-waisted dotted skirt and red belt) insulted/made jealous/intimidated someone enough for them to approach someone else to tell me (cowards) this. It seems this particular outfit that I have worn today, which I have worn many times previously in the same environment, has violated a certain somebody's eyes!

Bitch Von Stupidface as she will be known from now on was so disturbed by my normally worn outfit that she felt like it was her civil duty to point out my "barely there" (according to her) outfit. The point here is that I don't have any problem with people sharing their opinion with or about me. It bothers me greatly that this was done discreetly, behind my back, through an intermediary of whom it didn't concern. I mean, what the fuck? Was she scared of me? Did she think I would eat her? Come on, we're both humans and adults, so chill the fuck out.

Anyway the point of this post is to vent out my rage and frustration at all this happening to me on this day. I really hope that things do work out between me and her because from now on my demeanor will be cold and icy whenever I talk to her. For real. Oh and by the way Bitch Von Stupidface, this is specifically for you.